Army Widow?

When I met Mr A, he was going to join the army. Long story short, but he didn't because of me. I can't be with a guy in the army, I need to come home to my darling every night, not worry that I'm, not going to see them for 12 months and have the threat of them being blasted to bits every day. He seemed ok with this, but months later, rather predictably, got itchy feet and wanted to join. This time a compromise was reached and the TA was agreed on. Naively, I thought that it was just one night a week, the odd weekend and that was it. Tonight he is going to the TA centre to see about joining. I am now really really scared. Having looked at the net, I see that more and more TA people are being mobilised. In fact, 1 in 5 people in Afghanistan are TA. That scares me. They get less than a weeks notice that they are going.

This wasn't the life I wanted, and I didn't want much. I just wanted someone loyal, who loved me and who I would come home to at night. I got the love but nothing else it seems. I am really scared, really really scared and that might sound silly to some, but to me it really matters.

My mother said that life is unpredictable and just because someone says that they will not join the army, doesn't mean they won't ten years down the line. And that she has had to move countries with Dad's job before. Which is fair. But I can't go with Geoff, I can't go into war zones, I have to stay at home, waiting, wondering. And this will be my life - forever. No matter how much I fill up my life, I will still just be waiting for him to get home.

That is a life I cannot lead. He said he wouldn't join the TA or Army but now he is. And I said I wouldn't leave him for it, but now I am wondering if I will. Because as my life is wearing on, things are be coming more and less important to me. Love is becoming vital. I genuinely love him with all my heart and I cannot bear to restrict him. I won't. But I guess I cannnot stand by him. Because I will have a truely miserable life. Because I cannot live my life waiting. Waiting for him to go to war, waiting for him to come home, waiting to find out that he's alive or not, waiting to find out if all the little things I will look forward to will no longer happen because the fucking government says so.

I need to make some very tough decisions. But I have to make them alone. And I think if he comes home to tell me he is joining the TA, I will have to tell him I am leaving. Not as a threat to make him stop, because I don't want him to stop, he will just get miserable and resent me, but because that is GAME OVER.

I wish it wasn't. He's my soulmate.

Horrifying

The RSPCA is disgusted and is appealing for information after a young dog was found hanging from a tree in Aberdare, South Wales.The sickening discovery of the dead animal, which was found hanging by blue bail twine on Friday, 1 August, has stunned RSPCA Inspector Selina Chan and led to heartfelt calls to the public for information."I find it difficult to put my thoughts into words after removing the body of this dog," Inspector Chan said. "I simply cannot comprehend what has happened to this young animal and how it was found in such appalling circumstances."We need the public to help us piece together the information so we can discover the truth."Dog found near regularly used footpathA dog walker made the grim discovery on Friday at 10am near the Dare-Aman Line footpath, which runs from Dare Valley Country Park to Cwmaman.The member of the public had also been walking on the path earlier that morning at 6am, but did not see the dog at this time. The path is regularly used by dog walkers and runs alongside a children's play area at the end of Trevor Street in Aberdare.No obvious sign of deathThe male dog has been examined by a vet and is described as a medium-sized mongrel, thought to be a bull terrier type, between nine and 18 months old.There was bruising around the dog's neck and two puncture wounds on the dog, but no obvious sign of death. Blood was coming from the dog's nose and mouth and the vet believed the blue bail twine was also being used as the dog's lead.Do you recognise this description of the dog?"The dog has very distinctive markings so I believe someone will recognise his description," Inspector Chan continued."He is white with brown ears and has a brown patch around his left eye, a brown patch at the base of his tail and three large light brown/tan patches on his body."When I attended the dog had been cut down from the tree, but the twine was so tight around his neck I could not get my fingers underneath it."The dog was heavy and it would have taken a very strong person, or possibly more than one person, to have hung the dog."I would urge anyone with information, no matter how insignificant it might seem, to please give me a call."Under the Animal Welfare Act 2006, anyone found guilty of causing unnecessary suffering to an animal could face a maximum six-month prison sentence and/or a £20,000 fine.
Anyone with any information at all about this incident is urged to leave a message for Inspector Selina Chan on the RSPCA 24-hour cruelty and advice line: 0300 1234 999. Calls will be treated in the strictest confidence.


Right, this is horrifying. I will personally maim the person who did this.

Give me strength to protect the mistreated, misused and misplaced.

I have been thinking a lot lately about where my life is going. I guess I've reached that stage where it's no longer OK to coast along in a job I don't really care about. I want to change the world, in my own little way. So I sat and thought about what matters to me. And constantly came back with the same answer. Animals. Animal welfare specifically.

So I looked at the RSPCA website and started applying for jobs. Not very easy to be honest, there are very few jobs and a lot of people applying for them. So I started to volunteer at the local RSPCA cat shelter. And as traumatic as it is to see those poor abandoned cats, for a couple of hours on a Saturday I actually feel like I am helping.

I never thought I could work with mistreated animals as I thought I would find it too distressing. But then I thought about it, if I don't then who is to say someone else will? I have to come out of my comfort zone and face my fear, because ultimately the end result is more than worth it. I want to know that I can make the change, that I can help, that one animal might not die. I'll make sure that happens.

There is no excuse for any animal cruelty these days. There's no ignorance anymore on the subject. Just cruelty. Stupid, horrible people who think it's cool, or it makes them feel powerful to inflict suffering on an animal. On something that can't fight back. These are the sort of people who are too cowardly to take on a person, someone who can fight back.

Imagine this. Close your eyes and picture a floor. On that floor there is a skinny, dying dog and a skinny, dying cat by empty food and water bowls. Imagine a pair of legs - an owner - walking past them, and using the last of their energy they look up, pathetically hoping that they might get some attention, food or water. But nothing. They sink back to the floor. Dying.

Now even writing that made me cry. What about you?

Do you want to stand by and do nothing?

Or do you want to do something.

These animals are our best friends. These animals save our lives. These animals are the ones that listen when other people don't want to know.

My cats are my babies. My best friends and my constant companions. I would kill anyone who hurt them. And I can say that hand on heart.

I don't agree with PETA's shock tactics - although some people may argue my image above was just that - it was in a way - but it shouldn't be forced on you. It's your choice.

If you care, then care. If you want to help then help.

If you want to know more - www.rspca.org.uk

Look at your pet and wonder what you would do if someone hurt them. And wonder, why do people hurt animals? Why was a cat kicked to death for having muddy paws?

I can't live this mediocre life anymore. I need to change the world, cos I can't live in this one.

Want to join me?

Errr...

Weighed myself today. Man THAT was depressing. I was a stone and a bit over what I thought I was!

So now majorly depressed.

Will get drunk then diet tomorrow.

Gash.

Cruel Reminders

Yesterday I saw a dead cat by the side of the A3. This really made me sad - that was someone's pet, a family member. There will be some kids crying, some parent's trying not to show their tears over this cat. Or some poor old lady, looking for her only companion. Who knows who that poor puss lived with but they will be sorely missed. And do you know what made me mad? Right in front of me was the Wildlife Trust and they just drove by. It was on a slip road, they could have stopped. But no, they just sailed on. Fuckers. Made me remember how upset I was by Dave's death. People often argue that you can't compare human life to animal and I agree - not because we are superior but because the relationships are different. My cats love me completely, without question. Yes they jump on my head when I am asleep, yes they vomit on the carpet and I have to clean it up and yes they bring in dead animals, but they love me and I love them. There's no arguments, no malice - just love and companionship. An idiot that I once made the mistake of being very briefly involved with got upset when I told him the cat ranked higher than him. He boomed and shouted that a cat was just a fucking animal and in no way better than him. What I should have said was just about everything in the world ranked higher than him to me. I couldn't believe his attitude, animals aren't below us, they are along side us. We need them and quite frankly they don't need us! How does this make us better than them? You don't see boars in the wild starving because there are no humans to eat, or cows dehydrating without human milk. They get on just fine. We're not the best, we're just the most destructive.

This morning I saw a mangled dear by the side of the road. It makes me upset to see the destruction we cause and then we just leave death by the side of the road. I'm no eco warrior hippy - I am as bad as the next person. I drive a car, I use electricity and gas and I don't recycle as much as I could, but I do my bit in my way. I love animals, I don't use products that are tested on them (it's really not as hard as you think) and I would go to extreme measures to protect animals from us.

Someone hit that cat and left it. Shame on you. Someone hit that deer and left it. Shame on you. And if you hit an animal and didn't see it? Then concentrate on the fucking road moron instead of texting, fiddling with your phone and chatting to your mates.

This world disgusts me. Start taking responsibility and stop killing our animals for NOTHING! No fucking reason. People shoot them for sport (these people generally share a gene pool), people kill them for fashion (yeah bet those mukluk boots feel real nice, fashion victim) and people kill them just because they don't pay attention when going about their lives.

Well fuck all of you for doing that.

Shedding

I've reached quite a point today. Many of my friends will have noticed a rather large weight gain on me this year. That's cos I decided to have a jab that didn't work out so well. At first I blamed it on being in love and overeating but really it's down to that. I've never been this size before, I'm not used to reach for a size 18 instead of a size 10. It's weird. It's sent me into a bit of a self induglent pit of despair really and has affected me more than I thought it would.

However now is the time for action. I'm fed up of hiding away because I am ashamed of my size. I've tried to diet this year and failed miserably, so I figure the best way for me to actually achieve something is good old public humilation. Tomorrow I start eating heathily and as soon as my points guide arrives I will start the WeightWatchers diet.

I don't know my exact weight due to the fact that the scales have broken (not down to me might I add!) but I am a size 18 and I will weigh myself tomorrow in Boots or something (then cry).

So here I am. My name is Debs and I want to lose weight. And if you want to join me or offer any constructive (no mooing or negativity please - I will hunt you down and eat you) comments then please do and I'll let you in on my journey.

So it's time to sign off and go eat my Chinese, my last treat before the life change comes about.