Errr...

Weighed myself today. Man THAT was depressing. I was a stone and a bit over what I thought I was!

So now majorly depressed.

Will get drunk then diet tomorrow.

Gash.

Cruel Reminders

Yesterday I saw a dead cat by the side of the A3. This really made me sad - that was someone's pet, a family member. There will be some kids crying, some parent's trying not to show their tears over this cat. Or some poor old lady, looking for her only companion. Who knows who that poor puss lived with but they will be sorely missed. And do you know what made me mad? Right in front of me was the Wildlife Trust and they just drove by. It was on a slip road, they could have stopped. But no, they just sailed on. Fuckers. Made me remember how upset I was by Dave's death. People often argue that you can't compare human life to animal and I agree - not because we are superior but because the relationships are different. My cats love me completely, without question. Yes they jump on my head when I am asleep, yes they vomit on the carpet and I have to clean it up and yes they bring in dead animals, but they love me and I love them. There's no arguments, no malice - just love and companionship. An idiot that I once made the mistake of being very briefly involved with got upset when I told him the cat ranked higher than him. He boomed and shouted that a cat was just a fucking animal and in no way better than him. What I should have said was just about everything in the world ranked higher than him to me. I couldn't believe his attitude, animals aren't below us, they are along side us. We need them and quite frankly they don't need us! How does this make us better than them? You don't see boars in the wild starving because there are no humans to eat, or cows dehydrating without human milk. They get on just fine. We're not the best, we're just the most destructive.

This morning I saw a mangled dear by the side of the road. It makes me upset to see the destruction we cause and then we just leave death by the side of the road. I'm no eco warrior hippy - I am as bad as the next person. I drive a car, I use electricity and gas and I don't recycle as much as I could, but I do my bit in my way. I love animals, I don't use products that are tested on them (it's really not as hard as you think) and I would go to extreme measures to protect animals from us.

Someone hit that cat and left it. Shame on you. Someone hit that deer and left it. Shame on you. And if you hit an animal and didn't see it? Then concentrate on the fucking road moron instead of texting, fiddling with your phone and chatting to your mates.

This world disgusts me. Start taking responsibility and stop killing our animals for NOTHING! No fucking reason. People shoot them for sport (these people generally share a gene pool), people kill them for fashion (yeah bet those mukluk boots feel real nice, fashion victim) and people kill them just because they don't pay attention when going about their lives.

Well fuck all of you for doing that.

Shedding

I've reached quite a point today. Many of my friends will have noticed a rather large weight gain on me this year. That's cos I decided to have a jab that didn't work out so well. At first I blamed it on being in love and overeating but really it's down to that. I've never been this size before, I'm not used to reach for a size 18 instead of a size 10. It's weird. It's sent me into a bit of a self induglent pit of despair really and has affected me more than I thought it would.

However now is the time for action. I'm fed up of hiding away because I am ashamed of my size. I've tried to diet this year and failed miserably, so I figure the best way for me to actually achieve something is good old public humilation. Tomorrow I start eating heathily and as soon as my points guide arrives I will start the WeightWatchers diet.

I don't know my exact weight due to the fact that the scales have broken (not down to me might I add!) but I am a size 18 and I will weigh myself tomorrow in Boots or something (then cry).

So here I am. My name is Debs and I want to lose weight. And if you want to join me or offer any constructive (no mooing or negativity please - I will hunt you down and eat you) comments then please do and I'll let you in on my journey.

So it's time to sign off and go eat my Chinese, my last treat before the life change comes about.